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Yarwen: Captured in Maine

Posted by: Loren Coleman on September 3rd, 2006

Maine Foliage Tours

I get all kinds of emails. Some are threatening. Some are intriguing. Some are confusing. Because an “offer” in a new email has been withdrawn due to the fact I wanted more details, plus, humm, a photograph, as well as to know the real identity of the person writing me, I will share the following correspondence.

This melodrama may be someone’s fiction or next week’s media event, so read it in that context. The person who wrote got upset with my caution, my checking for credibility, and my probing questions. The individual then said he was going to put “it” up on eBay. He also told me I was out of any money I was going to “make” off this captured creature. So be it. I feel fully released to share this all with you, the readers of Cryptomundo. If this is the proof we all have hoped for of a Bigfoot, I guess I missed my chance to drive to New Jersey to take a peek.

Here’s the email (with lack of capitalizations and spelling intact), dated Saturday, September 2, 2006:

This is Not A Hoax

i was camping deep in the north woods of maine this week. at dawn on friday i went down to the river to wash up. what i saw across the river on the other bank astonished me. to my shock and amazement i saw a yarwen with it’s cub eating from some type of berry tree. it couldn’t see me and as luck would have it my camp was downwind from their position. i went back to my tent to retrieve my rifle and when i returned amazingly the creatures were still there.

to make a long story short i slew the adult and managed to capture the cub alive. i labored all day to bury the carcass of the adult so that no one could claim it. it was about 8.5 feet tall, with orange-brownish hair, and extremely heavy. the cub is 3.5 tall and weighs exactly 121.5 lbs. it is extremely docile. i cannot tell what sex it is.

i have this cub at an undisclosed location. it seems to only eat plant matter because i left carrots, blueberries, apples and steak(cooked and raw) in its cage and in the morning only the steak remained, untouched. i am aware of the million dollar reward for the capture of one of these creatures but that is not enough money for me. i want to retain you as my representative as i wish to remain anonymous.

i want $100,000 for photos which you can come and take. i contacted you first since i visit your site frequently but if i do not hear from you soon i will find someone else to handle this. together we can make history and get rich. i want you to list the creature on ebay with an opening bid of $10,000,000. i will give you 10% of whatever we eventually get, and you will have the honor of breaking the story.

please do not write about this on your website until you come to nj and see this thing for yourself. if i see any mention of it prematurely the deal is OFF. please note “dominick perez” is not my real name.

Of course, I am not in the habit of jumping in my old station wagon and driving to New Jersey, based upon an email like this. I needed more proof, more facts, more reality about who is emailing me. Hey, on some level, I’m more interested in proving these things exist when there is no greed attached, scientifically. Of course, I don’t blindly go off on wild goose chases to take pictures. Despite this emailer’s claim, it could be a hoax, of course.

When I hear about all the money someone thinks they deserve for their evidence, red flags go up for me. (There are several red flags, needless to say, about this tale.) Me as an agent? This person doesn’t know me well at all.

Furthermore, I sure don’t have any money to purchase photos, either, and won’t even if I had the funds. Nevertheless, I help people all the time, make contacts, but only after I’ve been given assurances that what is coming my way is a serious inquiry and not trickery. In this case, I tried to ask for more details about this alleged “Yarwen” capture. All I was told was…

to answer your last question, i drove the thing all the way home in the back of my truck handcuffed to the roll bar.

Later, after a flurry of Sunday emails in which I tried to calmly talk to this person, I received this:

i’ll tell you what… look on ebay in about a week and you will see a live video. i will give the exclusive story to one of your competitors. i would think you would be excited to be given the honor of publishing the first real photos of a yarwen ever and breaking the story. i will show nothing until i am paid for it. if you want to see the body go look for it. watch for the ebay listing.

And finally:

like i mentioned earlier, check ebay periodically and you will have all the photo evidence you need. this ends my communications with you.

Of course, if this person has a live young Bigfoot in New Jersey taken from Maine, probably the wildlife officials in Maine want to know more about this animal as a ward of their state, for starters.

I’m not sure what a “Yarwen” is, but then, via googling I see it is a name used in Dungeons and Dragons. Maybe there is a clue in that fact. Or maybe this guy is trying to write Yeren?

Who knows? Does this mean we all have to watch eBay for the next incredible hominology discovery that will shake the ranks of anthropology to its foundations? We’ll see.

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Information Update

The “General Hunting Season” for Bear in the State of Maine is from August 28, 2006 through November 25, 2006. You are allowed “one bear” per season, with a license.
Sunday Hunting is illegal in Maine. Bear permit required (resident $28; nonresident, $68; plus agent fee) in addition to hunting license between Aug. 28 through Oct. 27. See law booklet for other recent changes. Maine has more bears than any other state in the lower 48.

+++++

See, for further discussion, “What is a Yarwen?” .

Spread the Word!

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91 Responses to “Yarwen: Captured in Maine”

  1. Kimble responds:

    The deep north woods? Well, that narrows it down to anywhere west of Interstate 95.

    If this fellow is from Jersey, I bet he thought he was in the “deep north woods” when he got beyond Portland. We best see if anyone has lost their chow mix breed in Turner.

    Y’know, I went to the Windsor Fair this weekend and I saw a couple of yarwen there myself. One had a t-shirt which read “The Man (arrow pointing up) The Legend (arrow pointing down).”

    R Carignan
    Portland

  2. sschaper responds:

    he can’t determine the sex of a primate???

  3. Ole Bub responds:

    Good evening Loren and the Poacher…

    I doubt eBay will allow such an auction…and transporting an illegally taken juvenile creature across state lines may be a violation of Federal wildlife statutes…JMHO

    Consider keeping the lines of communication open and perhaps he will come to his senses and a bargain can be struck….good luck…poor lil squatch…JMHO

    To the annonymous poacher…please consider Loren’s offer to help…surely there is a way for all parties to win…especially the orphaned squatch…the body of the adult may be worth more than it’s child….think it over very carefully…use your common sense…JMHO

    seeing is believing…

    No bigfoot…No Bucks…

    ole bub and the dawgs

  4. LaFlamme responds:

    I imagine driving from Maine to NJ with a Dungeons and Dragons creature handcuffed to your rollbar might be a bit hairy. I mean, does this qualify you for the carpool lanes?

  5. mauka responds:

    He seems a bit (a LOT) reluctant to tell you anything be sides Northern Maine, dead bigfoot, captured baby bigfoot. Maine resident.

  6. kamoeba responds:

    Does he accept personal checks or is it strictly a PayPal only auction?

    But seriously, I should think the greed factor is the least of this guy’s red flags. For a moment let’s assume he’s telling the truth. He claims to have shot and killed an adult “Yarwen”, then disposed of the body. He also claims to have abducted a juvenile of the same species. If “Yarwens” turn out to be more human than animal, he’s a kidnapper and murderer.

    OK, now that that moment has passed, let’s assume what’s probably closer to the truth: that this guy is some kind of loser like Comic Book Store Guy from The Simpsons TV series. He thought he could lure the world’s most reknown cryptozoologist into forking over some big bucks to him with a lame hoax and no proof. The fact that he mistook “Yeren” for “Yarwen” and claims he “slew” the adult creature is a red flag to me as well (who among us would have used the “slew” instead of “shot” or “killed”? A 40-year-old D&D-playing nerd who lives in his parents’ basement and works at Chuck E. Cheese is my guess). And why would he want you to put this thing on eBay for him if he’s going to do it himself anyway?

    This ends my correspondence with you. Please note that “kamoeba” is not my real name.

  7. scmarlowe responds:

    Buried the parent?

    That statement should send up red flags all over the place. The carcass would be worth almost as much as the “baby” to a money grubber.

    It’s almost certainly another hoax and sounds like a teen trying to make an adult look foolish.

  8. crypto_randz responds:

    mmmmm, interesting story i will believe it when i see the video. He tied the creature to roll bars on his vehicle, well interesting to say the least.

  9. Ole Bub responds:

    A rapid response team and a well thought out capture protocol…sound pretty good about now…who ya gonna call…JMHO

    No reason to say anything rash…please Crypto folks…be very measured in your responses…think before you squeak…this is about them not us…JMHO

    To the party responsible for the welfare of the juvenile…the world of sasquatchery is watching…please…establish communication with Loren et al…don’t allow the adult’s sacrifice to have been in vain…you are more apt to accomplish your objective cooperating with the blessing of the sasquatch community than without it…JMHO

    No bigfoot…No Bucks..

    ole bub and the dawgs

  10. ilexoak responds:

    Does D&D have trolls? Just wondering.

    Wayne

  11. springheeledjack responds:

    Unfortunately, this is the kind of junk that cryptozoology has to constantly put up with and sift through to get to examples of REAL evidence.

    If this guy did (and he doesn’t) have a real body and young one…AND if he’s delved into cryptozoology and this site at all, he knows what hoaxes and fakes cryptozoologists have to wade through, and that some sort of evidence is necessary in order to move ahead. The fact that he won’t (i.e. doesn’t have anything) just means this is the equivalent of “phishing.”

    Secondly, if he’s willing to throw a video out on E-Bay, then what’s the deal with no info for you…like I said, hoax.

    Here’s a dollar ($) for at least providing a GOOD example as to what to watch out for from hoaxers.

  12. ABLegler responds:

    I just have an awful image of this guy crouching over the dead body of an adult “Yarwen”, examining the baby to figure out what gender it is.

    You attract the winners, Loren.

  13. ilexoak responds:

    If sas are the least bit social, this fella would have been at least harassed and perhaps seriously injured or killed in the process of trying to bury an adult he’s killed and kidnap it’s child.

    Don’t think EBay would touch this sort of thing with a 10 foot pole.

    But, this does help us see what sort’s of problems can arise when such large bounty’s are placed on cryptids.

    Wayne

  14. LaFlamme responds:

    If I knew where this guy lived, I’d hire a huge guy to don a gorilla suit and stomp around his yard growling: “I want my son! Give me back my son!”
    It’d be worth the loot just to see this fraud monger wet himself.

  15. Nachzehrer responds:

    At the unknowncreature list serve, we recently had a woman who claimed to have killed a gigantic carnivorous bird with a huge hooked beak and a ten foot wingspan. She said that she shot it, buried the body and sent us a black and white picture of what looked like a beaked dinosaur skull as proof along with an hilarous sketch of a DIatryma with a single big feather sticking out the top of its head. Everyone was polite but unconvinced and she eventually became abusive and had to be barred.

  16. MountDesertIslander responds:

    This guy is obviously a level 12 ranger at least. Using a +3 ranged weapon against a level 6 non magical monster seems like a bit of overkill. He should have skinned the mother and used the pelt as a +3 frost resistance cape. What a waste. The ranger needs to find someone with +5 in beast training to help him subdue that creature in order to add it to the party. I’m sure its thaco is low but the hit points must be off the charts.

  17. Ceroill responds:

    LOL…cute, but unfortunately your D&D fun is a bit out of date. Unless of course he’s using an old version of the game. “Thaco” isn’t used nowadays, but your parody is still funny. Sorry for nitpicking.

  18. EdwardHowland responds:

    PEE-YEEW… that whole thing stinks to high heaven! When I was in the Navy we used to say the only difference between a fairy tale and a sea story was that the fairy tale begins “Once upon a time…” and a sea story begins “Now this is no sh*t…” Perhaps it should be extended to include emails that begin “This is not a hoax…”

  19. loyalfromlondon responds:

    My heart says yes but my mind says NO.

    I’ll sit this one out.

    Loren, I would love to be a fly on the wall of your inbox. :)

  20. skunkape_hunter responds:

    There are several problems with this fellows story. First and foremost, why was he in the woods 500+ miles from ‘home’ alone ? Second what was he doing with a rifle while there ? As far as I know there is no open season for guns right now anywhere, in the continental U.S. however I could be mistaken. I know some bow seasons open up on September 1, so the name poacher may be more accurate then some think. Thirdly, as has been pointed out, the dead BF would be a lucrative item as well. The last thing is how does one drive 500+ miles with a ‘baby’ BF handcuffed in the bed of a truck and get no attention ? Also why did he have handcuffs along on his ‘camping trip’ ?
    Loren, you were right to act as you did. The best thing to do is cut this moron loose.

  21. TemplarKnight21c responds:

    Any idea what part of Jersey this fellow is in? I’d be happy to pay him a little visit. I really think it’s a bunch of bs. Most primates I know of (excluding humans and orangutans, though I’m not certain about orangutans) live in groups. At the most basic, a father, a mother, a child. So, where was the other parent and/or the rest of the group during all this, and why did the juvenile stand still after its parent was killed, by a very loud weapon, and then buried?

  22. Ole Bub responds:

    Good evening Cryptos

    Assuming this person’s story may be factual…then inflammatory and derogatory comments might not be appropriate just now…JMHO

    Loren’s task is difficult enough without us complicating the situation…discretion may be the better part of valor…JMHO

    “Please think before you squeak”….

    No bigfoot…No Bucks…

    ole bub and the dawgs

  23. cradossk responds:

    “Most primates I know of (excluding humans and orangutans, though I’m not certain about orangutans) live in groups.”

    - Humans live in groups …. what is a “family”, or to go even further.. a town or a city…

    Were probably the most social primate of them all, and one of the most social creatures on the planet

  24. mystery_man responds:

    Well, it would certainly be cool if this was real. But unfortunately, with all the hoaxes these days, I feel it is always best to take these claims with a grain of salt. If this guy is for real then he has nothing to lose by giving more details and evidence. He will still make a fortune if that is what he wants. It is sad that the money is superceding the importance of this potential find. Personally, after the whole Johor fiasco, I am highly skeptical of these sorts of claims without any forthcoming evidence to back them up.

  25. Tengu responds:

    Its probably just a townie caught a bear cub by mistake…

  26. Marchog responds:

    Just a nagging thought - while I agree with those posters who have suggested that this is most likely the work of a rather pathetic hoaxer, could this alternatively be the hand of Penn and Teller at work?

    I’m out of the loop with TV in the States (I’m in sunny Wales on the other side of the Atlantic) but are they still running their show debunking Cryptozoology etc…?

    The wording of some of this correspondence seems a little flowery (”i slew the adult”; “i labored all day to bury the carcass of the adult”). It smells strongly of a set up to cynical old me.

  27. Eepius responds:

    Honestly, if you were the only person there and you had a 8.5 ft creature, how would you even get that in the back of your truck. The buried adult is the only thing that makes sense to me. The rest just sounds far fetched.

  28. oldbutnotstupid responds:

    Sounds like someone with too much time on their hands.

    How could you handcuff such a thing in the back of a truck and not attract attention.

    Are there no police patrols in Maine to notice such a strange passenger.

    This gotta be another Hoax.

    Not to worry some day the real thing will appear somewhere I’m sure.

  29. markcih responds:

    Everyone is ignoring the obvious. This is tangentially reminiscent of the case in Massachusetts a few years ago where a nut shot up an office, killing several people and claiming he saw them as Hitler, Goering, etc.

    Why do I have the disturbing thought this obviously disturbed person killed a fisherman in orange hip-waders, buried him and has his kid (or dog?) in a cage somewhere?

  30. Loren Coleman responds:

    Please see above for my “Information Update” on the Maine Bear Hunting Season.

  31. skunkape_hunter responds:

    Loren,
    I was mistaken ! LOL Thanx for the update, I had hunted bear in Maine years ago, but the season started on Oct. 1. After posting I also remembered a little known 3 day season in North Carolina for deer. That is the last three days in August. Many states have been increasing their seasons due to over population, or as some might see it, over urbanization. I know the seasons have pretty much doubled lengths here in Florida. I should have considered that before posting.

    With that said I would like to address the adult being buried. If this person were out for bear what was he going to do if he got one ? I mean he had to bury the adult, one assumes because he could not get it out of the woods. I have hunted all over the country, and you always consider how you will get your game out. I must also say that I would never entertain the thought of hunting any large game alone, and be very wary of hunting small game alone. I may not be an expert crypto type guy, but I am an expert woodsman.

    Again, sorry for the erroneous info on hunting seasons. I had totally forgotten about the increased seasons these days.

  32. Mnynames responds:

    So if this guy is legit, and Fish and Game breathe down his back, presumably he can change his story to say that he thought it was a bear he shot, although abducting the cub is a hard one to excuse. And may I just ask, who calls baby primates cubs?

    I agree that burying the adult does make some sense, considering the effort it might take to pack it out of the wilderness and into his truck. As for handcuffing a baby BF to his roll bar, it stretches credulity to think that no one in Maine, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecticut, New York (Likely New York City, at that), and finally New Jersey saw the thing struggling in the back. Maybe he had a tarp? My personal opinion is that this hoaxer is not from NJ at all, but from somewhere far enough away that he thinks NJ and Maine must be near each other.

    Of course, if it was handcuffed at only one point to the roll bar, there’s a lot of movement available for the animal, and nothing to prevent it from leaping over the side, even if it can’t get away. So he’d have to have 2 sets of handcuffs, and why would he even have one? Either he’s a cop, a paranoid survivalist type, or into S & M.

    Speaking as someone who is one, and has been the other, this guy seems to be giving New Jerseyites and 20-something nerds living in their parents’ basements a bad name, even if where I’m from, they’re often the same thing. I’d love to meet this joker, and introduce him to my +1 vorpal sword…Co:

  33. Loren Coleman responds:

    Mnynames writes: “Speaking as someone who is one, and has been the other,” would that be the cop, survivalist, or S&M person?

    Perhaps when exposing oneself here at Cryptomundo, we all could just stick to cryptozoology roles, for ease of referencing?
    :-)

  34. Mnynames responds:

    Hmm…after reading over my post, one could get the impression that I’m suggesting something other than me being from New Jersey, and having been a nerd living in a basement. Just thought I should clear that up, lest you think I’m some sort of paranoid, survivalist cop into bondage.

  35. Mnynames responds:

    Too late! That’s what I get for moving my paragraphs about and not proofreading…and of all the people to catch that, it had to be you, Loren.

  36. fbn responds:

    Ebay doesn’t accept live animals listing as written on its rules:

    eBay generally does not allow the listing of live animals or pets on eBay. In restricted cases, some stuffed birds and the pelts and skins of some animals are permitted.

  37. skunkape_hunter responds:

    Mnynames,
    I think we all caught it ……. But we had started to become afraid ….. very afraid !! :P

  38. Mnynames responds:

    Thank you, Skunkape. I think I’ll go crawl under a rock now…if only to provide a proper burial for the remains of my dignity…

  39. twblack responds:

    Yes I agree Loren a lot of red flags on this one. But if any truth to this the fact he may have shot and killed an adult would make me not want anything to do with him. But then again you would be the right person to know who to contact and how to go on from here if he has a little BF.

    Or worst he may have wanted you to come down for something else? maybe you should alert the police or something could be a deranged fan that could do you harm or something. As I have always stated you never know.

  40. WVBIG_2006 responds:

    I’ve always felt that Bigfoot are no more related to humans than other primates are. So I really seriously doubt one man could capture a 3 1/2′ tall 121 1/2 lbs bigfoot by himself & wrestle it to the bed of his pickup AND handcuff it to the roll bar because chimps & I believe gorillas are both suppose to be 5 times stronger for their size than humans.

  41. kittenz responds:

    LOL you can find ANYTHING on eBay!

  42. Mnynames responds:

    Yeah, lots of people have been seriously injured or killed by chimps, even ones raised by Humans from birth. if a chimp doesn’t want to go somewhere willingly, he’s not going easily. Never forget that they have teeth, and know how to use them.

  43. Shawshank responds:

    If this guy is serious, and if he’s reading these comments (as I’m sure he is): Hey, you should use YouTube to post a video. They are easy to work with and are designed for this purpose, as Ebay is not. Once you post the video of the cub, I assure you that hundreds of thousands of people will view it within the first two days, and THEN you’ll be able to negotiate for top dollar.

  44. Garlictown responds:

    Hoax - anybody with something like that would call authorities and the local news. Good story by a 13yr old, otherwise. A big waste of time when so much can be researched using the correct tools.

  45. greywolf responds:

    Wow! If he shot the adult and it turned out to be part human in some form, that is MURDER in my book as well as kidnapping.

    just thinking out loud!

  46. David V responds:

    Actually Laflamme, you CAN transport a Dungeons and Dragons creature in your car. You just have to roll for initiative! Hope you got a D20 handy.

  47. Doug Tarrant responds:

    I just can’t see a child-being being docile after its parent is shot dead.

    I can’t probably see you getting regular handcuffs on a 3′5 foot kid if it weighed in at 121 lbs. Big feet, thick wrist.

    On the drive back to N.J. I would think the child would have been terrified being in a strange vehicle with traffic zooming all around, that someone would have taken notice, and cell phoned the Highway Patrol to that effect.

    Geez! Quick, somebody contact Lance Henrikson. I see a new movie in the making.

  48. Coot688 responds:

    Sounds mighty suspicious to me. He seems to fill in the questions that come to me almost like clock work. I was thinking that an eight and one half foot bigfoot would theoretically weigh over 300 and maybe 400 pounds. This I don’t know. ut it is going to weigh a great deal and not only that, its supposedly dead, therefore its 300 pounds of dead weight. I’m thinking he just up and buried it? So he then says he “labored all day to burry it” and that it was “extremely heavy.”

    I’m also thinking that a creature like this knows its surroundings and its domain like no one else’s business. He said he saw them across the river and that they did not see him and that his camp was down-wind of the creatures. I find it funny that he could see them but that they could not see him. Knowing how skittish and immensly aware that a deer or even a squirrel is, this has got to be boloney. Not only this, but this person is being way too demanding. I don’t think his heart is in the right place.

    “i contacted you first since i visit your site frequently but if i do not hear from you soon i will find someone else to handle this. together we can make history and get rich. i want you to list the creature on ebay with an opening bid of $10,000,000. i will give you 10% of whatever we eventually get, and you will have the honor of breaking the story.”

  49. MinnMonkeyMan responds:

    Sounds like Baloney so slice me some please ;)

  50. skunkape_hunter responds:

    Doug,

    I agree with your point about the handcuffs. But as I asked, why did he have cuffs along on a camping trip alone? This story smells worse then a skunk ape!

  51. Ridiculese responds:

    Why shoot the parent, Redneck?

  52. LaFlamme responds:

    I’m still bothered by the idea that he kept the beast cuffed to the roll bar of his truck. At the very least, toll booths would be tricky.

    “That’ll be a dollar, twenty five. And sir, your hairy girlfriend just flung feces at me.”

  53. skunkape_hunter responds:

    I have to agree, the hairy girlfriend would have to have gotten someones attention!

    Also he claims he has it in a cage. I can not imagine you can just go buy a cage large enough to handle a creature the size of a 7 to 10 year old child.

    I mean not something you just walk into Petsmart and pull off the shelf.

    I am watching this one! I want to see if anything more comes out!

  54. Tyler responds:

    Odd, sad story, obviously. I will reserve comment on my opinion of it’s authenticity, save this - it’s one redeeming factor seems to be that he was willing to invite Loren there, to see it in person, ahead of any money agreements. (Although this saga has carried on for some weeks now, and the chances of anyone keeping one alive that long without going public are even slimmer than the chances of this being legit)

    On the miniscule chance that it is legit, I might say that the speculative accusations of all the trouble this guy could hypothetically be in line for are unfounded, and may do nothing other than scare the captor in to ridding himself of any evidence.

  55. btgoss responds:

    I have got this totally solved.

    I am about to get 10 million dollars wired into my bank account from a long lost, relative, who died in Nigeria last month. So I will front the money, as I am sure it is as legit as my Nigerian wire transfer.

    bt

  56. Tengu responds:

    You think someone could think up a more convincing story than this?

  57. Shihan responds:

    Too bad that some of the nut cases out there can’t just grow up and realize that these hoaxes and frauds are not funny and serve no purpose!

  58. The Crypto Kid responds:

    The guys probably sitting back getting all kinds of laughs from the attention he’s getting here.

    p.s I have never heard of a Yarwen (as Loren stated he’s probably miss spelling Yeren) and yes ilexoak, there are Trolls in D&D.

  59. cor2879 responds:

    “I find it funny that he could see them but that they could not see him. Knowing how skittish and immensly aware that a deer or even a squirrel is, this has got to be boloney.”

    I grew up in a heavily forested area and we were able to sneak up on wild animals without them noticing us often. Granted this was from a distance. If you get close they notice. But you don’t have to be very close at all to shoot something with a high powered rifle. That said, I doubt the veracity of this story. Although his comment about “Together we can make history and become rich…” almost sounds like he is trying to get Loren to join the Dark Side!

  60. Loren Coleman responds:

    Ah, yes, the Dark Side. For those that seem to doubt that I understood what he said, yes, I realized he wanted me to be the front person. But I need to know something about someone before I’m going to walk into their Paterson, New Jersey home, right!??

    And he does, at one point say, ” i will show nothing until i am paid for it.”

    I don’t trust this person. Would you?

    You see, I am careful about getting involved with the interstate transportation of dead or captive hominoids, and the promotion of the killing of Bigfoot or people or out-of-season wildlife. If he had a bear permit, he was suppose to only take one. :-)

  61. MojoHotep responds:

    If this “dummy”, (not the word I was thinking, but this is a family friendly site) actually killed an adult, undiscovered lifeform of this type, and captured it’s offspring, and has it in “Joissee”, then rest assured, he will never be heard from again. Not even from his closest family and friends. As a matter of fact, I would bet he is already warehoused in a safe, comfortable, padded, and totally anonomous location, with lots of sedation. A chart on his door that reads “Mr. Jones”, and if you listen closely, you can hear the black helicopters as they power up the rotors to take off from the front lawn of the compound.

    The flip side of it is, if this was a hoax, he is just a sad, pathetic excuse for a human being, looking for some sick fifteen seconds of infamous attention.

    For his sake, if it were the real deal, he should have gone public immediately and left a very visible public trail. At this point, he is probably alot safer and better off just being a sad and pathetic hoaxer.

  62. caddo21 responds:

    When I go camping I take a rifle to scare off bears if they get to nosy, so I can believe that part.

    First thing in the morning, if walking towards a river, I make lots of noise, singing, swatting the limbs with a stick so I don’t surprise something dangerous. I make my presence known.

    I’m a pretty good shot. I’m fearless too. I’ve killed plenty of paper targets and clay pigeons. They don’t scare me.

    If I had a 8.5 foot creature in my sights, I would be a tad shaky. Just a tad. I’m pretty certain that would throw my aim off. Now if I fired for the head and the creature dropped without a sound. Would I go over there at once? No. I would wait to see if it’s playing dead and shoot again to be sure. Then wait, move forward, shoot again, wait, poke it with a stick, hit it with a stick, make a close observation of what I just killed and run like hell to my truck and report it.

    In Texas we have a ground covering called soil. In Maine I don’t know what they have covering the forest floor but it appears to be soft. I normally don’t take a powered backhoe on camping trips, just a 3 foot trenching shovel, even with a pickaxe and sturdy shovel it would take 24 hours to bury something that big deep enough so that scavengers could’t smell the rotting flesh and disturb it. 24 hours is optimistic too as I would constantly stop and listen to hear if it’s 12 foot tall hubby was sneaking up on me.

    This guy is more interestng than bigfoot, nerves of steel and a deadshot like Clint Eastwood and the strength and stamina to dig a large hole like Arnold the Govenator.

  63. Lee Pierce responds:

    Recent news break. The body of James Yarwen, local basketball legend, was found in the woods west of I 95 late yesterday. His son James Yarwen Jr. is missing. The family has offered a $1,000,000 reward for capture of the nitwit who committed the heinous crime.

  64. Sky King responds:

    Also why did he have handcuffs along on his ‘camping trip’ ?

    EXACTLY! That’s the biggest “tell” in the whole tale.

    BTW, it’s not illegal to carry a rifle in the woods out of hunting season. It’s just illegal to HUNT out of season.

    I NEVER camp without a firearm.

  65. Savage30L responds:

    “…..As far as I know there is no open season for guns right now anywhere, in the continental U.S…..”

    Gun season for deer traditionally opens on August 15th in some of South Carolina’s game zones.

  66. Mnynames responds:

    I had a feeling he’d be from North Jersey. Make all the Jersey jokes you want, ’cause you’re talking about North Jersey. South Jersey’s a completely different state, the rest of the country just doesn’t know it…(o:

  67. crypto_randz responds:

    Obviously, another johor bigfoot hoax.

  68. bentlizard responds:

    True or not, and I do not believe it is a truth, I cannot believe someone would shoot one of the most sought after creatures ever! Jeez! Especially for the greed and monetary gain! What a greedy you know what.

    Should this story come to truthful fruition, I hope the murderer burns in you know where as I do believe a human connection is there. AND IF a true story, bless the orphan who saw his mom killed. No wonder they are so hard to find? Look at the humans they have to deal with!

  69. scotto responds:

    So…it’s gonna show up on ebay, huh? I wonder what the reserve will be. Maybe the auction can end early for a “buy it now?”

    This guy is a moron. Kind of a creative moron, but he probably is a 40 year old nerd living in his parent’s basement.

  70. skunkape_hunter responds:

    Savage30L,
    My second post acknowledged that mistake. Are those ‘early’ seasons in the Carolinas still just 3 day events ? I hunted North Carolina 20 years ago in that season. A deer still in velvet makes a beautiful mount !!

    Also I agree with the posters that say they do not go into the woods without a gun. I also do not even go fishing without a gun, gators ya know, however I do not take the 30-06 or the .303 British when I camp. I take a handgun, like the 9mm, .38, or even better the .380 !! I love that .380 it is nice and small, and tucks away nicely !!

    The laws in Florida are friendly to gun owners, as we can actually keep a loaded weapon in our glove boxes, so long as they are in a case, or holster.

  71. mysticranger responds:

    I live in Montana so I know all about the unwritten rules of camping and hunting….this guy’s a moron.

  72. Amber LaStrega responds:

    Some posts in this thread have made me laugh, others guffaw and some just plain left me non-plussed. But the original email sent to Loren is bunk (IMO).

    I’ll not elaborate on points which others have already made note of … except the “handcuffed to my rollbar” bit. What with the “Amber Alert” system, there’s little chance *any creature* could be brought across state lines handcuffed to a rollbar and not be questioned. Let alone multiple state lines.

    For the record, here in Minnesota, *the only* hunting okayed in the state prior to September 1 is Crows. It’s okay to shoot a crow come July 15. After that, the earlist other okay is Mourning Doves on September 1.

  73. Capt. Jack responds:

    Isn’t “Yarwen” the elf babe from “The Lord of the Rings”?

  74. RavenStar responds:

    For one, if there is ANY bit of truth to this, what this guy needs to realize is that what is in his possession is a living, breathing creature, not a commodity to be sold on eBay to the highest bidder. And money is that important to him that he would kill a creature that was causing him no harm, just to steal it’s baby?? People like this make me sick. Myself, I don’t really believe him…. but that doesn’t change the feelings of that last statement. It’s really to bad that stuff like this happens, because it is people like this that cause cryptozoology to not be taken seriously. I think you did the right thing, Loren, by asking so many questions - if he was an honest person, and telling the truth, questions wouldn’t scare him off, would they?

  75. Loren Coleman responds:

    No, Capt Jack:

    Liv Tyler played “Arwen.”

    Interestingly, Liv Tyler attended Waynflete School in Portland, Maine, as a teen.

  76. Capt. Jack responds:

    Ah, that’s right, “Arwen”. Well, too bad this guy couldn’t have captured Liv Tyler and drove through the backwoods with HER strapped to his rollbar. THAT would have been newsworthy.

    I still think this story is getting way too much publicity - it sure sounds to me like he’s bastardized “Yowie” or “Yeren” or didn’t bother to check the spelling. Unless he’s a displaced Asian he would have called it a Bigfoot, methinks.

  77. Mnynames responds:

    Just think, somewhere in New Jersey right now might be a Hobbit who misses his mum…

  78. RicardoNascimento responds:

    I don’t believe this guy’s story anymore than any of you do, but just as a thought… the old Ford Broncos and GMC Jimmys had roll bars on the inside of the vehicle. The Bronco’s also came with privacy glass so I guess someone could be handcuffed to the roll bar without being noticed by people outside, especially if the vehicle was moving quickly.

  79. Capt. Jack responds:

    Good point. The rollbar on my Jeep is inside with the hardtop on and with the tinted windows you can’t see inside.

  80. Randy in CT responds:

    What a ridiculous story.

  81. Seraphine responds:

    Okay, first things first. The man was camping, right? But he happened to have brought a HIGH POWERED rifle with him? He must have had a very powerful weapon to take down a 8 foot tall being (weighing how much??) with out much trouble. And once that gun was fired (unless it was silenced maybe?) the youth wouldn’t have stuck around for a tear-jerking scene straight out of Bambi. Heck no. Self preservation is the instinct of all things living.
    The youth was handcuffed to his roll bar in the back of his truck(?). How many campers bring handcuffs with them?? Unless they have some kinky plans or perhaps are a law enforcement official? Was the ‘yarwen’ covered? Or was a big fuzzy humanoid just hanging out in the back of his truck for all passer-bys to see?

    Noise.
    A trapped, wild, kidnapped ANYTHING (be it “yarwen or human or animal) will not exactly go quietly! I presume fighting, clawing and YELLING would have taken place. Unless he sedated the animal. And how did he do that?

    And don’t you think IF he had captured such a creature… a simple call to the local newspaper or media outlet would get him all the money and attention he wanted?

    Sounds like someone is trying to set Loren up for a humiliating fall. Or they’ve watched too much tv. I don’t think people offer millions of dollars for cryptid creatures. It’s not like the movies. Because once found, it becomes a matter of establishing what rights the creature has. Especially if it is humanoid.

  82. fredfacker responds:

    So is this guy from Nigeria? Because I think he contacted me via e-mail about his father General Mamumbo’s Fortune last week.

    eBay doesn’t auction live animals of any kind. This guy’s story is horrible.

  83. springheeledjack responds:

    Lee Pierce has my vote for the best comment on this one.

    Still laughing.

  84. Wolfee responds:

    Smith and Wesson Hand cuffs Web Site/This standard specifies that each handcuff shall be able to withstand a tensile force of 495 lbf without failure. The tested handcuff shall not open under load, shall not show any sign of permanent distortion or fracture and shall function in a normal manner following the test. The standard also specifies that each handcuff shall withstand 204 lbf/in for cheek plate separation. A majority of cheap handcuffs on the market don’t meet this standard. Is this important? Well, consider how strong the last really big guy you arrested was, or consider the superhuman strength of a PCP user. Any cop who’s worked the streets for a while knows of a local incident in which someone did, in fact, break their cuffs.

  85. mystery_man responds:

    Heavy DandD playing, Star Wars, a rifle, and hadcuffs just don’t mix. I sure am glad this dude isn’t running around in the woods where I live.

  86. sasdave responds:

    If the story is true it is a very sad day. No wonder they are still in hiding. I can understand the caution if true. Man kills mother of endangered animal and handcuffs baby to his truck. Ransom costs are too high to pay and story so unbelievable as false names have been used.

    Yet, if true I understand this man’s caution as someone that has seen one of these grand creatures.

    I was taken out of context and made to look like a fool in a television documentation aired around the world. Just to make someone else money and continue to promote lies from those that know nothing about the subject. I hope the story is false if the smallfoot lives; because, as soon as anyone in power gets it they will either eat it or disect it.

  87. Jeremy_Wells responds:

    “i will show nothing until i am paid for it.”

    Ahhh, the strip-club philosophy of science!

  88. jchip responds:

    I’m betting somebody didn’t have a date to his prom, and spends a lot of time in his mom’s basement with his “Yarwen” playing D&D!

  89. emt10421 responds:

    I’ve never felt inclined to post anything here as I’ve enjoyed reading the posts more than posting.

    I am wondering how many hits ebay has been sustaining for “Yarwen” searches?

    I know this has been said before, but how horrible that he would kill the parent and take the child. Of course I am sure this is just a sick story he made up, but makes you wonder just how twisted his thinking is.

  90. black wings responds:

    You know, I think it should be considered if even PART of this story is true. What kind of person who is clearly out of touch with reality would be out in the middle of the woods 5 states away from his home, alone, with a gun and a set of handcuffs, out of any kind of hunting season?

    This guy could easily be some kind of serial killer. There’s plenty of history of such killers writing to media sources. Also, that could be part of the reason why he was so offended at all of Loren’s “Probing questions.”

    I totally agree with any and all postings that advise a call to law enforcement. This guy could be pretty scary. Squatch or no squatch, he was probably out there dumping a body.

  91. Loren Coleman responds:

    Please…this is for only those individuals who are NOT reading the blog carefully…

    On the date of the noted alleged event, it was at the beginning of bear hunting season in Maine.

    Also, this individual from Paterson, New Jersey allegedly says he is “in law enforcement.”



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