What Does A Cryptozoologist Do?
Posted by: Loren Coleman on January 18th, 2010
When I introduced Monster in the Woods (2008, director Andy Davis) at Merrill Auditorium two years ago, humorist Tim Sample introduced me. I remarked that my work had been laughed at more often than his.
Pause for the laughs.
Okay, I’m not a comedian and sometimes my jokes do bomb. But as a cryptozoologist, you do have to retain your sense of humor, so on Saturday, January 12, 2008, I naturally talked a bit seriously about what a “cryptozoologist” does, as three characters in that 2008 indie feature-length fiction film assumed that role (including me).
So, what does a cryptozoologist do?
I’ve been replying to this question for most of my last 50 years, in person and in print.
A cryptozoologist does what?
The answer may be as elusive as Yeti and Sasquatch, or merely amusing and revealing.
What does a cryptozoologist do?
I decided to search a bit, and found this footage of another’s answer to this often-heard question:
This clip is from The Shabbos Bigfoot (2006), which is directed by Patrick Coleman Duncan (no relation); starring Andrew Goldenberg (Reeling in Reality, Outtakes of the Christ), Heidi Schooler (Inland Empire, Calling Hedy Lamarr), Rebecca Metz (Nip/Tuck, Without A Trace); full running time: 22 minutes.
*tumbleweed*
*wolf howls in distance*
As an aside to this, what does a cryptzoologist think a layman (who is most likely to discover Sasquatch first) should do during, after an encounter? I still don’t know what I should try to do in the first very important seconds of a sighting. I don’t want to create a biscardi!
I am not sure on that one either. I find myself in the woods much of my free time. I am not sure what I would do if I saw a bigfoot. But the first things you should attempt to do are:
Get fuzzy pictures (Please do not focus, it makes it hard for us to discount your story if you focus)
take Shaky Video from long distance (lets be honest even if you sat ol hairy down for an interview some folks would not believe it, but the media prefers long distance, shaky video.)
take Plaster casts (Great evidence that once again the media will snatch on to, then for some reason make fun of you with)
Look for hair (I mean it worked for the guys at DT right?)
All kidding aside, you should stay calm. They are animals, although they seemingly have a high intelligence, you do not want to frighten them. Take clear pics if you can, and try to be an observer, not part of the action. You dont want to be the poster boy for Jack Link’s jerky.
I am not an expert mind you, but this is my experience with animals, thus far. I have some really great video of a ringtail cat here in Oklahoma, that I obtained by following these rules.