Please read some good books on these topics, as all your cryptozoological questions will be answered.

End of the discussion because this has gotten way off the Penn & Teller topic, and into trying to make a skeptic happy.

That being said — you still haven’t provided an answer for why there are not skeletal remains of Bigfoot. You suggested that they are eaten. I would contend that it’s possible for some animal bones to be eaten by wildlife — but that some would remain — as is the case with so many other animals we have relics of. Again, a visit to any museum that specilizes in this type of exhibit, will verify this. Is it your contention that it’s just been a series of bad luck and awful coincidences that have resulted in ALL the Bigfoot remains from across the globe having been eaten by wildlife?

But, okay, to be clear, (I can’t believe I am going to say this…), for “Bugs Bunny,” as Bugs seem to be basing his total thoughts on the food supply with the common misconception that “there are no fish in the lake,” as expressed by the one person who was quoted for P & T and the one boat driver who hasn’t seen Nessie. You are always going to find people who “haven’t” seen cryptids. Or use that old myth about no fish in the Loch. But, be logical, why is there a small fishing industry there? It is because fish pass through Loch Ness.

As to the food supply, the Loch is filled with eels and it has large populations of fish traveling through it. Also, if the Ness animals can transport to and from the ocean, as I think the evidence demonstrates, their food sources would never have to just be in the loch.

But, once again, why do the skeptics think there is a fishing industry and lifestyle there? Loch Ness is very rich in fish life. Brown trout, pike and arctic char live there amongst the thousands of eels. Of the greatest interest to local anglers are the salmon and sea trout which run from the North Sea, up the river Ness, jump the weir and run through the Loch to spawn in the rivers and burns, which feed it. The salmon fishing season historically started on January 15th and ended on October 15th, at Loch Ness. They aren’t fishing for nothing, of course. Supplying salmon has been a source of good income for Loch Ness folks for centuries. The local eating establishments often would charge very high prices for the first salmon caught every season.

The most efficient method for catching salmon is trolling. Think about what that tells us about the fish that live there, the obvious food source for any large cryptids. Salmon are seldom taken out in the deep water of the Loch. The largest salmon caught are generally in the 40 pound range, from near the surface. Quite large sea-trout are often taken while trolling for salmon, as well. Both for salmon and trout fishing in Loch Ness the water needs to be rough.

Good fish are seldom caught in calm waters. Good Monster hunting may be best in the same kind of waters, but good Loch Ness Monsters sightings have traditionally been limited to times of calmer waters. And therein lies the paradox, dear Watson. Humans are on the Loch when the waters are calm, but the Monsters may be there more often when the waters are otherwise.

Of course, these questions appear to demonstrate a level of defensiveness for Penn & Teller without looking at the basic demeaning techniques of personal attacks used by P & T that was the foundation of the critical view above.

Nevertheless, I’m not afraid to answer questions…even if they may be more revealing of the questioner than anything else…

Why deceased Bigfoot are not found in the woods have much to do with the same reasons seasoned woodspeople do not find dead bears or cougars in the woods, and a discussion of all of those reasons are contained in my 2003 Bigfoot! book. Hardwood forests, porcupines, other animals eating the remains, and the probable intelligence of the bipedal primates are contributing factors.

Asking the question about a thousands-of-years-old single Nessie is laughable, and something that is answered in elementary discussions on the Loch Ness Monsters - as there are several, they are a breeding population, and so forth. There is not “one” land-locked “monster.” Such a notion has more to do with skeptical wishful thinking than reality.

As to DNA, hair, and other physical evidence for the “existance” (sic) of Bigfoot, yes, of course, there are several forms of physical evidence pointing to the existence of these animals. However, as most books on Sasquatch and other cryptids readily note, without the type specimen, most hair samples, for example, found do not match known animals, and are usually labeled “near human” or “unknown primate.” Until Bigfoot is verified and confirmed, these samples will not have anything to match.

Gigantism? What is Bugs Bunny talking about? I don’t know any serious cryptozoologists that regularly trot out “gigantism” to “explain” Nessie and Bigfoot? Wow. Are other “life forms,” animals large like Bigfoot? Of course, they are. Certainly Pleistocene megafaunal survivors are well-known, and anyone is welcome to come visit my state to view an example out in the woods here…the moose.