Posted by: Loren Coleman on May 10th, 2009
They are known as “Kiwis.” It’s a cute nickname for the residents of New Zealand. Before the end of the week, people who attended one recent Bigfoot gathering may be wishing that they had never met one Kiwi.
The New Zealand Herald columnist known as “That Guy” (above) ~ i.e. Leigh Hart, a New Zealand comedian, born July 20, 1970 ~ has pulled off a big one. He has revealed on Sunday May 10, 2009 that at last weekend’s Bigfoot conference held in Ohio, he deceived those there as to his true purposes.
Here’s his just published column exposing what he found. I have edited out his incorrect and unfortunate use of “Big Foot” and replaced it throughout with the right form, “Bigfoot.” Also, one quick translation: “pashed” (New Zealand English slang) means “made out, kissed” (the King’s English).
Needless to say, in a year which has already experienced two books examining the nature of Bigfooters, this may be this year’s most demeaning Bigfoot conference article yet.
But first, a video showing that Leigh Hart appears to have been doing this for at least two years. He has mentioned in past interviews, as well, that he says he has an interest in Bigfoot.
Take a deep breath and proceed…to the new article…
There is an old saying that goes: “If you can’t get laid at a Bigfoot conference/expo, you can’t get laid anywhere!”, and for the most part I would have to agree with this. However, I might add that although your chances are good, be prepared for it to be with a heavily tattooed woman who could conceivably weigh in at 130 to 180kg.
I attended, or rather gatecrashed, the annual Bigfoot conference this year, rather controversially in Ohio. Officially I was there making a documentary series called Leigh Hart’s Mysterious Planet for TV2, but rather than research the mythical upright walking hominid himself, I was far more interested in those attending the event.
To cut a long story short, I have never seen so many freak shows in one place at one time.
The conference took place at Salt Fork Lodge which is close to where many Bigfoot sightings have apparently occurred in the past, the first as far back as 2004. Coincidentally, that was also the first year they held the conference here.
More than 450 Bigfoot enthusiasts attended and for three long days my crew and I walked among them on tours of littered picnic areas; sat through tedious power point demonstrations plagued with technical difficulties; and chatted to people who felt it appropriate to walk around the complex swinging plastic bags filled with fresh faeces, all “samples” that clearly came from a large upright walking hominid.
Diane, a “tell-it-how-it-is” female Bigfoot researcher, reminded us that not every broken branch in the woods can be attributed to Bigfoot and that other known animals such as bears also make footprints on the odd occasion.
She was remarkably logical and scientific, but blew all credibility when she admitted she still believed in Bigfoot, although she had never actually seen it herself.
Her credibility was further called into question when, in the early hours, rather than being out on one of the scheduled night hunts, she chose to stay in the Wild Things bar and pashed not one, but two different camouflage-wearing Bigfoot enthusiasts.
Another speaker hadn’t actually been back in the woods since 1981.
He was clearly emotionally scarred by his “encounter” and had trouble talking about the details without crying, getting feedback from the microphone or talking in a voice that suggested his testicles were being given a powerful foot massage.
This guy was so emotional you would think that rather than just seeing a Bigfoot eating berries in the woods, he had been gang raped by five of them. He also blamed Bigfoot for his overweight condition.
The most fascinating thing about a Bigfoot conference, however, is the internal politics or infighting that goes on between various factions. There is of course the BFRO, or Bigfoot Research Organisation, the OBFRC, or Ohio Bigfoot research Centre, the WBFRO, or Wisconsin Bigfoot Research Organisation, the United Bigfoot Research Society and, of course, the BFUFOSDI, or Bigfoot, UFO and Submersible Dinosaur Institute, run by the controversial Dr Gerry Garciamansoin, to name just a few.
These organisations are battling it out for column inches, T-shirt sales, and website hits. To have the upper hand they obviously need to bad mouth each other, call into question others’ expertise and techniques, and generally promote themselves as the one true organisation. The parallels with religion are obvious, as we have many idiots believing in something they can’t actually see, yet they are prepared to fight to ensure that their particular blind faith is more dominant than someone else’s.
The keynote speaker for the evening was supposed to be the director of the documentary series Monster Quest, so you can imagine the disappointment when he decided not to show up.
I saw an opportunity, and volunteered to speak. I began by introducing myself as a director from New Zealand, then proceeded to educate the KFC-eating audience about the KFC-eating Waitakere Yeti. Borrowing from the American Indian “Sasquatch” legend I told them that our native Maori had encountered the beast more than 400 years ago and affectionately called him Ngawa Whakata Cafe, which loosely translates into “large, hairy, coffee-coloured man”. The fact that coffee had only been in the country for 150 years or so was a detail that didn’t seem to bother them.
I told them that our beast was less shy than theirs and had been known to rape campers or trampers, the most documented case been that of Travis Collins who was raped by the beast, not once but three times over a four-year period.
They also believed that back in New Zealand I currently ran the largest faeces analysis machine in the world, giving me a standing ovation when I finally left the podium.
Had I not handed out fake business cards I suspect there would be hundreds of plastic bags of humanoid shit landing on my doorstep as we speak.
So now you know why I always keep a handful of Bill Ralston’s cards in my wallet, you just never know when you might need them.
Were any of you there and have a different point of view on what occurred?
Billy Willard, Director of Sasquatch Watch of Virginia, writes, in part:
Yes Loren, I was there. There are so many misquotes and misinformation in his article, that…more information on this [man will soon be released]. The fellow who told the story about his encounter is a good friend of mine and a member of my group. The things mentioned in that article are so far from what was really said.
The guy was an obvious imposter as he has readily admitted, but to come out and say some of the things about people he doesn’t even know and to insult someone’s weight conditions and appearance is just plain wrong. I think we all learn on a daily basis that there are folks in this world who have no human decency and seek to only hurt people for their own selfish gain, whether that be financially or for some sort of…fame. It is our intentions to defend our good friend who was brave enough to stand up in front of all those present and tell his story.
Search for Bigfoot’s Melissa Hovey has passed along the following, and I have placed the link to her fuller posting about this at the word “response”:
John Cartwright is a member in good standing with the ABS. He gets out into the field, and is a hard working member of this group. JC has worked very hard to overcome his fear, after his reported sighting years ago, and does not deserve to be treated in such a rude manner. He agreed to discuss his sighting at that conference, hoping others would find the courage to come forward with their own.
Those of us who know JC and call him our friend, are shocked and disgusted with this article, and the comments made about Diane. This is my response to this person who thrives, causing others pain and grief.
If skeptics such as this guy want “bigfooters” to act in a professional manner, they might try that themselves. This article is the height of unprofessionalism.
His employer should be ashamed. Feel free to post a link or the entire article. I just finished speaking with billy for the second time today, and he will be posting a response tonight.
Thank you for posting what you have. This is truly unbelieveable.
For an important followup to the above, please see “Kiwi Sends Cryptomundo ‘Apology To Bigfoot Community’.”