Alcade – the beard seems important, but don’t forget THE HAT.

If we did it with computer-generated backgrounds/sets like Santuary, that might be possible. I know someone I went to high school/some college with is a director in Hollywood now, but the last time I checked the Internet Movie Database, the biggest productions he got to direct were all cable soft-core porn movies. I just don’t see that working out for this. I simply refuse to write lines like “Is that a Dover Demon in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?”

Loren deserves a lot of the credit for this but he’s too modest to take it. This started out as a comment on the post about the dog mauling deaths, and Loren had the vision to make it into a blog post with all those great pictures he found and his own comments added. He inspired it too, although he doesn’t know it. In that dog mauling post he’d wondered if the killer was something else. I woke up about 2AM that night and couldn’t get back to sleep so my mind began wondering what cryptid could kill without leaving any visible trace. (Oh, the things I wonder about at 2AM….) I finally conjured up in my mind a tree-dwelling octopus (!) that reaches down, covers the victim’s mouth and sticks tentacles up their nostrils (eew), suffocating them. Smug that I’d figured out the only possible cryptid killer for all of four seconds, a picture of Loren Coleman appeared in my mind and asked “Oh yeah? What about the suction cup marks?”
“Drat!”, I thought, then “Hey!” The idea of Loren as a forensic cryptozoologist (cryptoforensics?) was stuck in my head, and the next evening I made my comment. I also wondered just how many visions of Loren Coleman I would have if I didn’t abstain from alcohol, but that’s another issue.

K. Gehrman, you seem to have put some immense thought into this. Lots of great ideas. I have to ask though about a Sasquatchilluminati posing as an IRS agent. Having had my own accidental run-in with that agency, are you suggesting that any of their agents AREN’T Sasquatchilluminati?
I like your twilight language idea too. Maybe every police chief he encounters will have a surname like “Fayette” or some such.
Your surperfluous mammaries idea is… quite interesting, as is their use in halting Bigfoot. I’m reminded of a scene from a Rodney Dangerfield movie that I shouldn’t recount here, but the punchline is, “Now THAT’S what I call a booby trap!”

Korollocke, I’m going to have to get ahold of those comics; I’ve head great things about them. I certainly think Loren could compete against Brad Pitt for the part. (Didn’t Cher once enter a Cher look-a-like contest and come in second or third?) And if this is indeed Supernatural’s last season, there would be a spot open on the CW for sure. I do believe that my definition of over-the-top probably doesn’t match up with other people’s. As the great songwriter Jim Steinman (all of Meat Loaf’s hits, for starters) once said, “If you don’t go over the top, how are you going to find out what’s on the other side?” In my defense of the beard, I submit this and this from a true master.

I agree the beard thing is over the top, but everything else about the show is interesting. Looking forward to the show if it is actually developed.

Nice post overall. Thanks Alcalde. And thank you, Loren.

The beard thing is too inconceivable for the general public. I think that some sort of mutation type of marsupial-like pouch (a Coleman genetic throw-back of sorts) just below the rib cage would be more believable and would work better at airports and border crossings. On quirk of hero could be his frustration with never finding his favorite beverage (Kangaroo Beer) in stock at any of the establishments he visits, he can’t store it in-pouch because the ice need would cause numbing of all organs from the waist down.

The main character must also have more depth to keep the audience interested in several stories lines going on at once. Like maybe the protagonist has a side interest in mass suicide theory or an involvement in some weird kind of twilight language cult.

Must have some kids to keep the demographic strong, perhaps the hero could have a son or two that he sometimes drags along on his investigations. They could go off on their own in some episodes to give the old man a rest.

I recurrent adversary would be advisable also like maybe a Sasquatchilluminati posing as an IRS agent with a true goal of hiding evidence of endangered species for Big Lumber.

Please do not forget the CryptoBabe, there must be a hottie to add stimulation to the series. A long lost illegitimate grand child of someone famous, call her Scarlett Heuvelmans or something like that. Give her some powers beyond those of mortal woman also (the ability to understand the thoughts of post-migratory Giganthropiticusees…and to project telepathically back). I also feel an physically characteristic would also gain audience participation, like a couple vestigial sets of fully developed mammary glands below her normal set. I’m unsure what the sensors would say about actually showing these on TV, but perhaps you could make this a teaser throughout the arc of the series, just have people reacting to seeing them(BF included…stop him in his uhm…tracks) but nerver actually showing them until the Movie came out on big-screen theaters after the series jumps the shark.

Now… who would been a good fit to play the lead character? I am not sure! But one inside note to all: Brad Pitt is currently growing a white beard for a “possible” role in an upcoming and sort of compatible role as a famous 1920s explorer (Percy Fawcett). Don’t forget Fawcett’s description of his encounter with Maricoxi in the Matto Grosse. The movie named after the book Lost City of Z interestingly included no mention whatsover of the Maricoxi. Anyway, thats another tangent.

Good luck alcalde, this pitch could work for TV. If you need some storyboards to help with the presentation let me know.

A great way to start the weekend. Thanks