Comments on: Beyond Loch Ness

By: Dr. Strings

Dr. Strings — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 00:30:40 +0000

The one constant with SciFi is to never hold out any hope for their original films. You CAN expect cheesy CGI effects, bad acting, and silly, convoluted plots. The funny thing is that, being the network that canceled Mystery Science Theater 3000, nearly all of SciFi’s original films are ideal MST3K fodder

By: Isaac

Isaac — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 00:07:32 +0000

The Cryptozoologist will survive!! Ha Ha!

By: springheeledjack

springheeledjack — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 04:55:37 +0000

Yeah, but it’s Sci-Fi, what did you expect? Like Sasquatch Mountain did much for the BF world. Oh well, life goes on and now I think I will go work on my screenplay for Sci-Fi, Giant Killer Otters of Loch Ness. Now if only I could get some editor from the Skeptical Inquirer to play the cryptozoologist.

By: bloodypoet138

bloodypoet138 — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 21:04:52 +0000

Not bad, but it’s just a rehash of THE CRATER LAKE MONSTER and SNAKEHEAD TERROR. And this is just gonna reinforce the “Nessie/Lake Cryptid-as-plesiosaur” theory.

By: Holmes

Holmes — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 15:18:49 +0000

Typical Scifi channel movie. Bad acting, bad special effects.

By: springheeledjack

springheeledjack — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 08:21:18 +0000

And we have a winner!!! Johnstownmonster called it!!! I counted 10 dead humans, one dog, a bullet ridden fox, and a slew of young critters along with momma–which did indeed turn out to be Nessie herself (apparently there is a express from Lake Superior to Loch Ness, who knew?).

As for the movie, well I’m not so sure it did any favors to cryptozoology…what with the “cryptozoologist” looking like a cross between Crocodile Dundee and Clint Eastwood’s, The man with no name–sheesh. And how many cryptozoologists do you know that can boast a sniper rifle, an EMP gun, a sonar gun and more cyanide than a government laboratory??? I don’t know Loren, weigh in here. Do you have a collection of high tech weaponry stashed for just such an emergency? I would at least invest in the cool hat.
The Sci-Fi Channel did not disappoint–we had plenty of eye rolling characters, some crappy lines, definitely a less than stellar plot and even the “monster cam!” I was sorry to see the sheriff’s deputy buy it at the end, he had some of the best lines. All in all, it was exactly the kind of stuff we expect from the Sci-Fi Channel, though is it me, or is the Sci-Fi Channel getting more gory? Uncle Sean is never going to look the same after that one!

Alright, my critique is done for the evening. Johnstownmonster, you have my praise for being dead on for the body count, you truly have a powerful gift, use it well.

As for me, I have glutted myself on low grade B-horror for the evening, I’m going to bed.

See ya!

By: gridbug

gridbug — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 05:37:09 +0000

*sigh*

Okay, so we all know the sort of pedigree these SciFi Originals have, and I’m here to report that Beyond Loch Ness keeps that tradition in the grandest way possible. Half assed storyline? Check. Made for TV thespian skills across the board? Check. Dodgy CGI and laughable puppet effects? Double check. Want some specifics? How about the heroic lead is a duster wearing, cigarillo smoking “cryptozoologist” bent on revenge (?) against the plesiasaur (??) that killed his father some decades ago (???). Not enough incredulous question marks for you? Turns out this aggressive, human eating creature is actually THE infamous Loch Ness Monster, now residing in an American lake (????). I like bad movies as much as the next guy, but damn if this one didn’t land with a wet thud.

Still haven’t seen Water Horse, but it’s GOTTA be better than this.

By: MattBille

MattBille — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 03:01:49 +0000

There’s already been one cheapie Loch Ness deadly-monster B-movie. It’s hard to imagine the thought process involved in making a second.

By: eireman

eireman — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 17:22:53 +0000

At least Lance Henrikson isn’t in it. He is such a good actor. I just don’t understand how he gets sucked into so many really bad films.

By: gridbug

gridbug — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 17:18:59 +0000

Nessie gotta eat.