Cryptomundo » Bene-Farce!

Bene-Farce!

Posted by: Loren Coleman on November 25th, 2008

Bene-foot Robert Swain

This morning, Melissa Hovey’s site, Search for Bigfoot, published a thorough review of the November 22, 2008, “Bene-Foot” by someone who attended, Rob Carignan of Portland, Maine. I was waiting for this to be published, so I could link to it for several people who have asked how it went Saturday night.

Here’s Rob’s direct insights to the obvious question, “How was the night?”

The show was absolutely horrible.

Sparsely attended, the comedy was not just unfunny, it was offensive. Donovan’s jokes were banal and fell so flat he had to explain his punch-lines - or lack thereof. Even his attempts at self depreciating humor missed the mark. The majority of the evening’s attempt at comedy revolved around offensive jokes against blacks, gays, the mentally ill, women, sexually abusing children, Jews…you get the idea. Nauseous. Maine may not be Boston, but I think we are a bit more sophisticated with our humor. A couple of audience members walked out early and were ridiculed. The rest of us who remained we’re ridiculed as well for not laughing. Bigfoot joke anyone? Sorry to say, there wasn’t even a shot at ex-Georgia cops or a freezer. Oh! Donovan did show the Kennedy Assassination [Zapruder film footage] then attempted to link the “Grassy Knoll shooter” to Bigfoot running away in the Patterson Film. Crickets chirped.

Later in the review, Rob notes that I voted with my feet:

As the hour struck eleven and this comic purgatory came to an end, the lights turned to Loren Coleman to say a few words. Loren had been in the back and had left. The two hecklers, Donovan’s girlfriend and sister, loudly expressed their displeasure in his disappearance, but no one listened. My only thought was “Who could blame him. I should have left too.” By now even the crickets were silent. The mike was opened so that anyone present could tell a funny joke. We just walked out.

Loren Coleman sent me an email thanking me for attending and apologized for the evening. It was not what he, or anyone, expected. Donovan was in charge of the promotion, the venue and ticket sales. As the benefactee of Donovan’s very poorly planned Bene-foot, I’m sure he [Loren] can only be thankful that it wasn’t well attended. The deplorable part is that his name and that of the museum was used by Donovan to foist this upon us.

See the rest of Rob’s review, here.

How did this happen?

Shawn Donovan, a former anthropology student, first approached me, wishing to volunteer for the museum. I started doing a background check. He lived in Boston, so he couldn’t donate too much time per month, he said. Then my googling turned up something.

Upon searching under Shawn Donovan’s name, I found and you will see that he was once the “the pro-rape candidate for the mayor of Peabody.” I was a little taken aback. But he explained to me when I made this discovery, “I do stand up comedy.” Perhaps, one could think, this was merely a form of harsh street comedy. I tried to be open-minded.

^^^^^
Clarification: The only videos of Donovan that I ever saw were a couple items on him “campaigning.” I did not see any of his “jokes.” As I first posted, the only YouTube I could upload was of Paul Nardizzi.
^^^^^

After this email exchange, in June, Donovan approached me about doing a comedy benefit for the museum. I considered that was an intriguing and thoughtful idea, and the guy wanted to be in charge of the whole thing - finding the venue, getting the comedians, doing the publicity, and posting flyers to the college communities around the city. I knew I was too busy to tackle all of that, for I had cryptozoology to do. I cautiously began down that path.

At one point, he wrote: “Right now I’m thinking of a place that can maybe hold 200 people. If we fill the room and charge $20 a ticket, that’s $4000, which I’m thinking should be enough to cover the cost and leave plenty left over for the museum.”

Whoa, that sounded good.

The Empire holds 150 to 300 people, depending on the level of interest and the set-up. It seemed something positive might come of this. Donovan wanted to charge $25 at the door, although this was soon changed to $15 for students by the Empire owner, I was informed.

But then, there were some other bumps along the way. First, the flyer that Donovan showed me was so awful, I asked some artists known to Cryptomundo to send in their art. All of those were light-years ahead of what I’d seen, and so I used them all, at least, for the online publicity I could do. But did the early google discovery serve as an ignored precursor of the disaster that was Saturday night?

Portland’s city newspaper, which I was made to believe was being kept informed by Donovan, footnoted the event in their entertainment section on November 20th, too late to do anything about it. It turned out to merely have a notice that there was going to be a “Crypto Zoo Benefit” at the Empire Dine and Dance, no address listed. The time was given as 9 pm in the paper, even though I was told, first, it would be at 8 pm and then 8:30 pm. No mention of the comedians or the word “Bene-foot” was given, and even the comedy angle was not listed. I saw visions of the Titanic on the horizon, and I didn’t think this was going to be pretty.

My sleepless night before the event was justified. My instincts, acknowledged too far into this, were on target.

I have never been through such a terrible night that was labeled as a “benefit” or involved “comedy.” Indeed, I felt badly not for me, not for the comedians, but very directly for the six people, the majority of the audience, who had purchased advance tickets through me.

Donovan’s low-self-esteem comedy, in which he ripped every non-white, non-male, non-mentally healthy group to shreds, then sadly tried to hyperexplain his jokes, and ended by demeaning the audience for not laughing at his bad humor was embarrassing to watch and to experience. His routine about girl scouts was one of the worst, sexually abusive little tales I had ever heard. I would have to say to Donovan directly: “Hey, Shawn, it wasn’t because it wasn’t politically correct, so much, even though it wasn’t, but, dude, it just wasn’t funny or appropriate for other human beings to get inside your head that much.”

Before the event, I gave Donovan a check for the six advance ticket sales I got, which he said he needed to cover the comedians and the venue, until the crowds showed up and the museum split became apparent. Other than the few people I drummed up, two couples merely drifted in and out. As it turned out, the museum made absolutely no money from this event.

I sincerely thank the poster and logo artists (Ted Bastien, Dan Slavin, Peter Loh, Robert Swain, Charles Berlin, David Lowe, and Duncan Hopkins) who were involved with this, and the handful of people who supported the effort. I wasted a lot of time on this, for nothing. However, the buck stops here, and since my name has been so tied to this, I apologize to everyone for what this became.

So, it’s back to ground zero, and I have to regroup.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 25th, 2008 at 10:59 am and is filed under Bigfoot, Breaking News, Comics, Conspiracies, CryptoZoo News, Cryptomundo Exclusive, Cryptotourism, Cryptozoologists, Cryptozoology, Reviews, Sasquatch. You can follow responses via our RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is not allowed.

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12 Responses to “Bene-Farce!”

Stan Cold responds: November 25th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
I am sorry to here about this. It sounded like a good idea, but ruined by a con-artist. I hope you find some way to raise money.
clancyryan responds: November 25th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
I never heard of a con artist who was looking to spread ineptitude. I think he was just a screw-up.
red_pill_junkie responds: November 25th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
I’m really sorry for this, too.
scottc responds: November 25th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Just send the Museum a $25 donation like I did, and be grateful you missed the show. Come on, people, hasn’t Loren suffered enough?!
cryptidcomic responds: November 25th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
I love you all, Shawn.
DWA responds: November 25th, 2008 at 11:21 pm
sorry it didn’t work out.

Nope, no con artist; just a screw-up. Happens.

Now to find a way to sell those posters…
Loren Coleman responds: November 25th, 2008 at 11:51 pm
Agreed. No con-man, no con-men, no shell game. Stuff like this happens.

Time to move on, towards the light, the evidence, and the morrow.
CryptoScientist responds: November 26th, 2008 at 7:48 am
I have to admit, I am one of the people that walked out early… But to clear up some misconceptions and things assumed by people who probably didn’t even attend the event, we left because we had to be home to send home our baby-sitter (who has an early curfew), not because we didn’t like what we saw. I thought all the comedians were funny! I had seen clips of these guys online before coming so I knew what I was getting into. Risque humor is like that…You either get it or you don’t. I wish the museum raised more money as well but I don’t think its neccessary to put down the comics.
corrick responds: November 26th, 2008 at 10:10 am
It could have been worse, Loren.
You could have been sitting there next to your mother like I once was during, “There’s Something About Mary.”
Trust me. Much worse.
clancyryan responds: November 26th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
hecklers, on the other hand, should be put down on all occasions with extreme prejudice.
soulfood1966 responds: November 26th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
I seriously think you need to sell the posters…great artwork. I’m in for one!
Loren Coleman responds: November 27th, 2008 at 9:32 am
Footnote, update: The only videos of Donovan that I ever saw were a couple items on him “campaigning.” I did not see any of his “jokes.” As I first posted, the only YouTube I could upload was of Paul Nardizzi.

The Empire cashed the $110 check on the 24th, which I gave Donovan on the 22th, for all the advance ticket sales I received.

As I have stated online, elsewhere in emails and here, I appreciated what Donovan did, and have learned many hard lessons from it.

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