Sasqwatch: The Original Bigfoot Watch

Stalin Planned Army of Human/Ape Hybrids

Posted by: Craig Woolheater on December 21st, 2005

The Moscow News reports that recently unearthed documents lay out a plan by Communist dictator Josef Stalin to create a super-army of human/ape hybrids.

Moscow archives show that in the mid-1920s Russia’s top animal breeding scientist, Ilya Ivanov, was ordered to turn his skills from horse and animal work to the quest for a super-warrior.

Stalin reportedly told the scientist: “I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat.”

The probably would have perfected the art of flinging poo into a lethal weapon. Those darn Ruskies!

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6 Responses to “Stalin Planned Army of Human/Ape Hybrids”

  1. GrandK responds:

    Oh-My-God… what a joker that Stalin! :D

  2. Lee Murphy responds:

    Yes, but the man did have a magnificent head of hair.

  3. 2400bc responds:

    “I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat.”

    Just grab someone walking out of Taco Bell.

  4. shovethenos responds:

    I remember seeing “Alma” (Russian Bigfoot) accounts claiming that some villagers actually captured a female and succeeded in producing human/alma offspring with her. (The old fashioned way, not with IVF.) Maybe this had something to do with the efforts.

    Similar efforts could explain several of the Bigfoot sightings that also involve helicopters and gunshots.

  5. Bob Michaels responds:

    Stalin was a monster to be sure, more so then the Cryptids that we are searching for.

  6. Buzzardeater responds:

    Two words, Nicolay Valuev.



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