The other day I, myself, was fortunate enough to stop Bigfoot at the airport for a minute and asked him a few questions:

Why haven’t we seen much of you lately?

“Me had press photo-shoot month ago, but everyone look at pics and say it just rotten basking shark.”

Some people say you have a bad, er, well a bad body odor. Care to comment?

“Oh yes, that be the Skunk-Ape fiasco in Florida. I explain that already. I forget and leave matted feces in hair for few days and suddenly me a bad person!”

Is there a Mrs. Bigfoot in your future?

“Maybe. Me smooth with the ladies and a good dancer - only step on toes sometimes. Went to zoo awhile back to check out the ape area, but got arrested for loittering and harassment. Me only said to some old ladies just staring at me “Care to hold my banana?” All of sudden me hear screams and get stun-gun rammed up my -”

And that was the end of my short interview with Bigfoot as we were interupted when his flight was announced. He said he had to get going because he had to be in Malaysia for some publicity photos tomorrow.