Radio Bigfoot - Part II
Posted by: Rick Noll on December 1st, 2005
(Fleetwood Mac – Oh Well)
I tried to keep a straight face. It was hard. Don’t get the wrong idea here though. I have no problem with this life choice… I just never had to really interact with it before. I felt like I was testing the ice on a frozen pond and really, really didn’t want to get wet. Everything this guy/girl - whatever said was unreal. The voice was wrong.
Now the jokes from DJ No Name started up in earnest. I slowly began to realize that Ms. Gay Tacoma was here to amplify the absurdness of my quest for Bigfoot. I kept my answers simple so no one could use them against me… “No.” “Yes.” “No.” “No.” With long drawn out pauses attached to them so they thought I was really thinking about how ‘Bigfoot would vote in the next presidential election’ or if it ‘were a Coug or a Husky’.
When the silliness began to wane - better questions started coming. Why haven’t we found a Bigfoot yet? Where do they live? What do they eat? What is the best evidence supporting their existence? How do you look for something like Bigfoot? This question brought on more of a response from me than the others since I was fresh off the Skookum Expedition.
I began telling them where I think the most promising places to look for evidence are; not really specific locations, just the kinds of areas I gravitate towards:
1. 75% contiguous forest land
2. Mountain meadows
3. Riparian buffer zone
4. Glacial fed streams
5. Swamps
6. Abandoned orchards and FS roads
7. Wilderness construction
I also talked about what type of weather I like to work in and why. Then I told them what I look for in those areas:
1. Browsing activity
2. Good tracking ground
3. Approximately 1 mile observation sites
4. Tracks
5. Food sources
6. History
7. Local information
Then I moved on to the use of lures for surely there is no one alive that could possibly think they could run down a Bigfoot in the wild. I told them that we use sounds supposedly coming from Bigfoot, played on big speakers and a powerful amp out in the wild. These had the potential of attracting the animal from miles away.
I then went on to how we setup provisioned sites using local fruit. These would bring Bigfoot in for the closest of encounters. Then I discussed the use of pheromone chips, impregnated with female gorilla and human bacteria… what is thought to be close to that coming from a female Bigfoot. We understood that there might be a risk using this when a male Bigfoot responded.
(Portishead – Glory Box)
Tacoma’s interest perked up and a mischievous smile appeared. A hand reached out for my arm resting on the counter top, but it was too far away. Through squinting eyes and a lowered head she/he asked, “Who does your hair? I just love it!”
All that information - and the first question is about your hair? lmao. Cant wait to see how this ends..